Stand As A Tree, Anxiety-Free
Granted, this is very often easier said than done. However, I've learned that this is not because being 'anxiety-free' is impossible, but rather, due to the fact that we're so trained and conditioned to 'flee from the scene' so to speak, in the face of anxiety. This is, in fact, the key ingredient of anxiety itself. If it could speak, anxiety's mission statement would be something like "What's here is intolerable and unacceptable. Off with it!" Well, I was reminded of another way this morning while standing amidst a miniature forest of trees in Golden Gate Park, sipping my morning coffee.
I didn't think to stop, I just stopped. Or rather it seemed, the trees stopped me, their stillness and presence an invitation to join them in remembering first-hand these essential qualities. The next thing I knew fifteen minutes had passed while standing still among them, experiencing my natural environment not as a detached onlooker, but as nature itself. Thus is the power of stillness and presence, and of trees!
This eventually got me to thinking, as if the trees were reminding me once again of age-old wisdom which so happens to be the most potent remedy for anxiety. Thus, I share it here. It goes something like this; Be still, refuse nothing, neither hide nor seek in the midst of what's here, and see what happens.. Of course, what's here changes like the wind or the weather, when we don't get caught up in the mind with our judgments, shoulds, and shouldn'ts. The obvious metaphor here is to notice how the trees relate to what comes and goes in the weather; rain, wind, sunshine, cold, warmth, it's all ok, it's all welcome. And so it is with states of mind, feelings, and so on. These are really just clouds in the sky of our awareness, albeit ones we identify with to the extent that we believe them. Like the weather, they overshadow the radiant and non-discriminating light of our awareness. When we are not fully identified with thoughts such as 'I'll never be good enough', and the accompanying feelings, our behavior is not limited by them, WE are not obstructed from our natural flow and capacity to act, relate, and adapt in a way that serves and nourishes ourselves and those around us.
Finally, I'd like to relay one last aspect of the experience I had while standing still among the trees. After some time I became aware of the sound of cars going by. Although I was surrounded by trees and their silent presence, I was still only about 100 yards from Fulton St. The initial impulse of my mind was, 'Oh, this car noise is unwelcome here, it's really detracting from my experience of the peace and silence. How to make it stop?!' About a second later, the already established silence and presence I was experiencing reminded me that, in fact, this wasn't true! The car sounds were not a problem. As soon as this sunk in, the sound of the cars became much less interesting and very quickly receded into the background of my experience, even disappearing entirely from my awareness. The lesson here is that when we don't make an enemy out of our experience, but rather welcome it, it sticks around for not so long. The stickiness or the glue is actually the resistance itself. Thank you trees.
Article by Tom Rhodes, MA, MFT
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Good News for the Anxious One
It can be very helpful in relieving a tremendous amount of suffering and anxiety to realize, again and again, that we as human beings have essentially two natures or two selves. That's right, we're all split personalities! In a sense, what a relief.
It has been taught by some, and I have found it to be true in my own experience time and time again, that we have a conditioned and an unconditioned nature, or self. Of course, you can guess which one is the one we tend to identify with more often than not, and which is the source of all anxiety and psychological pain; the conditioned one. This one, very naturally, has been conditioned from birth on up through the years to present day, and it is the sense of self which feels the need to protect its image, reputation, and vulnerability, lest we be seen for what we most fear ourselves to be, or not be. When you are feeling anxious, in any myriad of context or setting, this is the one you believe yourself to be. Well, my inspiration in writing this article, as well as most fundamentally as a psychotherapist, is to remind you of the other one, the one who doesn't need your conditioning to be any different than it is. It is through this catch-all lens of awareness, in fact, that our conditioning can eventually shift and heal. More accurately, it is through our unconditioned lens that we see our conditioning to have no real substance to it, and we naturally fall back into the peace and presence of empty and still awareness. This is itself the 'healing'.
Our unconditioned self is true, real; the conditioned one nothing but a set of memories, beliefs, and stories operating on auto-pilot. There is no shame in this! It is inevitable, and yet it is not who we fundamentally are. Deep down we know this, which is why it so often feels like we're yearning for something more; that more is always here, so close it is simply overlooked. It is this silent, still awareness that shines the light on anxiety and sees it, without judgement or criticism, for what it is, a mere misunderstanding.
Ever notice how babies and very young children walk through the world a little, or a lot, less obstructed and more at ease and alive? When I think of the word 'spontaneity', an image of a little child instantly pops into my mind. The very young are this way only because they are operating more from the unconditioned than from the conditioned self. That nature in them, to varying degrees, is a bit less obstructed or buried by conditioning. Of course, conditioning is necessary and helps us function in the world and remain relatively safe as bodies. But, and this is a big but!, when it is delegated to the realm of mind and self-reflection, it pretty much only does harm and causes suffering. Paradoxically, it is not the enemy. There really isn't an enemy, and the extent to which we can really get that is the extent to which we can begin to show up and be present in the midst of our anxiety or mental suffering, and thus transform it. To move toward and meet, to accept, is the most fundamental act of love. It is only this that ultimately has the power to melt anxiety, not in a forceful way, but rather a melting INTO the anxiety. Anxiety isn't chased away, it's just held so close that it is rendered innocuous, harmless in what was moments ago a most exotic, flamboyant allure. It seems to boil down to this; When we stop and FULLY accept what's here, EVEN anxiety, we open ourselves up to the spaciousness that surrounds and permeates everything. This makes anxiety suddenly manageable, or even suddenly vanish. This opening to anxiety, instead of feeding it by turning away, over time can become more alluring than running from it. This is the invitation.
Article by Tom Rhodes, MA, MFT
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